First of all, do not believe that shit Scott wrote about me being crazy. I ain't crazy. I'm just a real motherfucker, as real as they come. I ain't gonna shout-out my hood or the block I grew up on but I was born in Watts. Compton and South Central Los Angeles may get more play in the media but believe me, Watts is as gritty and grimy as the hood gets. I was raised by a strong black woman but I was already running the streets before I got out of middle school. That's just how it was. School seemed like a waste of time and back then some of them young nigga's was making two grand a day. There really wasn't much going on in those days but gangbanging and grinding cocaine. So, that's what I did. Gangbang and slang rock.
I started doing time in juvie, 30 and 45 days at a time. Mom's was mad but 45 days wasn't shit to me, even then. When I got out it was back to the turf and I was even bigger than before. I always came up nice when I got out but then I would just get popped again. I had a couple oz’s on me the last time and so I got my ticket punched for C.Y.A. They called Y.A. gladiator school back in the days (I'm sure they probably still do) and Preston was a for real gladiator school. It was just like being in the hood actually. Fist fights over stupid shit, stabbings over dope. It opened my eyes to a lot of shit though. I had run into it with Mexican gangbangers on the street but I'd never hung out with them, talked to them. I shared a yard with white-boys, rival gangbangers, just about everybody. And they was all cool for the most part. Sure we had some problem every now and then but I even had some cool partners that were from rival sections of the yard. When it came right down to it we was all nigga's in the real world.
I also got my dick sucked for the first time in Y.A. I ain't gonna get all into those stories on paper but I just want to establish the fact that getting your dick sucked and fucking faggots in prison has always just been part of the gangbanging life for the most part, mine anyway. Had to be. Slangin' dope and killing people means you ain't gonna spend much time on the streets and I ain't gonna just fuck my palm for the rest of my life. No way.
The hard part is that in California every prison or facility segregates housing. Blacks live with blacks, Mexicans live with Mexicans, Whites cell-up with whites, and "others" live with "others. Within that you got a whole bunch of gangs that can’t live with other gangs and shit but, still, housing stays along racial lines. Just about everything else does in prison too. You could be cool as fuck with people of other races on the streets but in prison you got to stay to your own...just the way it is and probably always gonna be. So, you ain't never gonna see a black dude eating with a white dude, not even using the same spoon or offering something he ain't gonna eat off of his tray. I might not like cake and the white-boy sitting on the table might (in his heart) be willing to pay $5 for that slice of state cake…but there ain't no way he's gonna ask and there ain’t no way I’m gonna offer. Because if we did one of us would end up being talked to or stabbed. It's like that with everything. You don't share a cigarette, nothing like that.
None of that would be a big deal…except that I like to fuck white-boys.
Let me change that...I LOVE fucking white-boy's! I love watching a pale little white-boy get down on his knees and look up at me while my big, black dick is just throbbing in front of his face. I love it when a white-boy has that look on his face, like he knows he shouldn't be doing this but like he's spent his whole life dreaming about what it would feel like to have a black dick in his mouth. I can tell when one of these white-boy's has never had a black dick. I love that. I love how their faces look when they see how big it is in my underwear. I love how they look at it, how they almost inspect it, when they pull it out. They will be right up on it, holding it right in their face and looking at it like it's a fucking trophy they never thought they would get to hold, like it's different than anything they have ever seen before. I love watching white-boy's worship my dick. That has never changed.
When a white-boy is sucking my dick it isn't like he’s sucking the dick of an equal. I am not one of their bro's. The very sight of my ten-inch dick makes them realize how inferior they are from the very beginning. They may have gone to a better school...their momma may have a better job than my momma...but my dick is pure superiority. I am a black man. My strength is not an illusion.
It almost makes me laugh to say but I love just putting a white-boy on his knees. I like it when they look up at me with that little whimper in my lips. That's when I hold their head still and push my dick past their pink lips and into their mouths. There was one guy I caught like that in the County Jail. We were in the law library. It was just the two of us and the guards just lock you in there for an hour and come back to give you an escort when your time is up. This guy couldn't have been a day over 22 or 23. He was green too. You could tell he had never spent a day in jail before and that he was scared shitless. His hands were shaking so bad that it’d be a miracle if he could actually read the case law book he was flipping through.
My dick was hard as fuck.
I made a couple jokes, trying to calm his ass down, but he just got even more nervous. I felt sorry for him. I wanted to take him under my wing and tell him that everything was gonna be all right, that his case couldn't be all that bad (what the fuck kind of crime could this scary motherfucker have even done?), but when I too the book from him he finally looked up at me. It was one of those doe-eyed looks too, all soft and innocent with his eyelashes batting and shit. I wanted to bend him over the table and fuck the innocence out of him so bad. But, instead, I just asked him some old stupid shit. I can't even remember what the fuck I asked him. But I am sure it was something stupid. All I do remember is that the look in his eyes just kept filling with tears and fear. Not fear of me but just plain fear of where his life was headed I suppose.
Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I told him that I would help him with his case and that I would help him stay safe in the County until he got out. The look in his face said that he needed to hear that. When I put my hand on top of his I could tell that he needed that too. I put his hand on my lap. The baggy County jail pants weren’t doing much to hide the fact that I hadn’t had my dick sucked in almost five months. I grinded my cock up against his hand. He had delicate hands, long, elegant fingers. He looked like he manicured his fingernails, they were all smooth and shit.
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